When I asked Maisy, my little grunt pig, what she wanted for her sixteenth birthday, the normally quiet and shy little grey girl told me softly at first, then her voice got louder with each grunt...
"Spring is coming so how about you get me a new boat tight wad? Something I can be PROUD to ride around in my old age, not embarrassed like the piece of shit you have been riding me around in for years. Why don't you creak open that wallet and get something that is RELIABLE and doesn't have us all hoping and praying it makes it back to the dock -I have no thumbs so I cannot help row us back to the dock dufus! I pray each time that it will even start after I have dragged my ass down there to ride. I am tired of stressing every time we go for a ride as it is NOT good for my longevity. I do LOVE a good ride though and maybe someday you can give me that. The problem with your old pontoon boat is the rattle and smoke of your sucky ass jalopy scares me and I can't even nap on the ride. At my age, I shouldn't have to stress on my joy rides each week. Gawd knows I deserve a better life, so you can leave the younger dogs behind as they also get on my nerves. And keep my water bucket full, clean and cold.
So why don't you buy me a new boat? And scratch my belly and my butt. Fix me something nice, something special for a change. Take my sexy shaking ass for a truck ride. Walk me in the flowers in the field. And thanks for asking!"
"....Happy BIRTHDAY to ME- EEE, Happy Birthday to me." I love the sun!
Riding on the new boat with my dog pound posse. At least I got part of my wish.
Let's get this thing started so I can go for my ride to the woods and trails.
Mom picked me wildflowers. Sometimes I just hate her.
