If Dogs Talked

Blog is on humorous activities (and sometimes serious) of rescuing dogs and dog ownership.Funny, informative entries, sometimes a twisted vantage point, for sharing with other dog lovers. See more dog stories and memes at on Facebook at Ifdogstalked. Please like our page!

Saturday, November 30, 2013

Now can we go camping?

It is the weekend and I hear the mountains have snow.
 Here, let me give you my sad face and see if that helps. - Bentley, rescued Newfoundland

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Labels: dog, dog blog, dog foster, dog humor, dog shame, dog tags, dog tweet, dog twitter, dogs, dogs talking, funniest, funny, pet, pets, talk, Talking

Friday, November 29, 2013

Are you seeing what I am seeing Shanti? It hurts my eyes.

WHAT was Belle thinking when she wore THAT out of the house this morning? - Riley
(Obviously she wasn't thinking. - Shanti)
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Thursday, November 28, 2013

Hey mom. Which is bigger?

Sam's tail or my wiener? - Buddy

Let him and his nub down gently. They don't call me "black shadow" for nothing.


Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Wednesday, November 27, 2013

Well, this is awkward. You are facing the wrong way again.

Because I am not moving. - Shanti Baby

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Tuesday, November 26, 2013

One day I would like to have a little place of my own.

Find a good job, settle down, and move out of mom's house.  It is just so hard in this tough economy for a dog. - Sam I am
(Species profiling....)
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Monday, November 25, 2013

I get dibs on the winner.

One of you is going DOWN. -Maisy Moo
(I may be old but I got junk in the trunk that won't quit and these kids are gonna pay their respects)
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Sunday, November 24, 2013

Nope. I don't want my picture taken.



How about now? Did you get that?- Shanti

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Saturday, November 23, 2013

Mom wants you to move so she can sit on the couch. Pass it down...

What Sam? I can't hear you- I am sleeping.- Buddy
Where's mom. I don't see her. She must have left. - Riley
Who cares? I ain't moving. - Shanti
Well mom, I tried.  The dog bed on the floor stays pretty clean so you might try that.
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Friday, November 22, 2013

I see the prey.

Let them take this shot, then I will run over there and deal with it. - Sam I am
Handsome is my gift and my curse.
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Thursday, November 21, 2013

You want a kiss? I GOT your kiss.


I love you but there is no reason to choke me. Is someone getting this on film? 

I feel awkward sitting here with Shanti watching us.  She gets mad when it is obvious I am your favorite. - Buddy




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Wednesday, November 20, 2013

My foster mom is a piece of work.


I have no idea why she takes hold of my rope and won't let go.  - Riley
But I will play along with her.  It seems to make her happy.


Now she is starting to aggravate me. Gimme Gimme!
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Tuesday, November 19, 2013

Tips from Cesar for your dog (s)...



Exercise, discipline, and affection - in that order. These are the three ingredients for creating a happy, balanced dog. Most dog owners give only affection, or don't provide these three necessities in the correct order. #cesarsway

Exercise – walking a dog at least one hour every day, and in the correct way.
Discipline – giving a dog rules, boundaries, and limitations in a non-abusive manner.
Affection – a reward we give to our dogs and to ourselves, but only after the dog has achieved calm submission in our Pack.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 9:14 PM No comments:
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That's it. That's the spot. You're hired!

Take that flip flop off and really get busy with those toes girlfriend. - Della Dingo Dog

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Monday, November 18, 2013

Be careful with these items around your dogs on the holidays....

Here is the list, via Cesar Milan. http://cesar.mn/nf8b
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 9:54 PM No comments:
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Congrats. Another NO KILL shelter has been approved in the US (a FIRST in NC)....

LINCOLN COUNTY ANIMAL SERVICES TO BECOME FIRST MUNICIPAL SHELTER
IN NORTH CAROLINA TO BECOME A NO KILL FACILITY

Lincoln County Animal Services and Make Lincoln County No Kill Join Forces to Save Animals

Lincoln County, NC (November 18, 2013) – The Lincoln County Board of Commissioners voted today to adopt the philosophy and move toward the implementation of the No Kill Equation (NKE), a nationally recognized and proven approach to saving 90% or more of the healthy and adoptable animals, at Lincoln County Animal Services (LCAS) in Lincolnton, North Carolina. With this vote, LCAS will become the first municipal animal shelter in the state of North Carolina to be designated as a No Kill Animal Shelter.

Leading the effort to introduce the No Kill Equation was Make Lincoln County No Kill (MLCNK), a grassroots group of volunteers wanting to affect change and support this effort at LCAS.  MLCNK and LCAS will join forces guided by the No Kill Equation to work toward achieving a 90% or higher save rate through increasing the number of adoptions, rescues, and fosters.  The program will also work toward decreasing the number of incoming animals to the shelter through Trap, Neuter, Release (TNR) and barn cat programs for feral cats, low-cost spay/neuter programs, pet retention efforts, and owner-reclaim programs. Emphasis will also be placed on securing alternative funding through donations, grants, sponsorships, and fundraising events, plus public education and volunteer recruiting through community outreach efforts and raising awareness through participation in various public and media events.

“We are excited about leading the way in the State of North Carolina through our commitment to become a No Kill Municipal Shelter,” states Alex Patton, Chairman of the Board of County Commissioners. “It is the right decision and one shared by the majority of our citizens.”

“With our internal commitment to saving 90% or more of the healthy and adoptable animals and by joining forces with the volunteers of MLCNK, we will have the resources needed to accomplish this goal,” explains Martha Lide, Assistant County Manager.

According to William Edmiston, member of the steering committee with MLCNK, “We are already implementing various parts of the No Kill Equation and have over 1,000 volunteer hours committed per month to put toward this effort.

“We encourage everyone to learn more about how they can help in this positive effort,” adds Karen Banker, also on the steering committee. “Many of the activities and support needed do not involve direct animal service. There are many ways to contribute to this worthwhile mission of saving Lincoln County’s homeless animals.”
 
Lincoln County Animal Services is the municipal shelter for Lincoln County located at 650 John Howell Memorial Drive, Lincolnton, NC.

Make Lincoln County No Kill (MLCNK) is a grassroots group of volunteers dedicated to transforming Lincoln County Animals Services into a No Kill Shelter and increasing the live release rate of healthy and adoptable animals to 90% or above.  To learn more or to sign up as a volunteer, visit www.MakeLincolnCountyNoKill.org.
 
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:41 PM No comments:
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Make Lincoln County No Kill- NC

This group is meeting tonight. Please show your support any way possible (you do not have to live there to be a member - see link at bottom).  As many of you know, across the country (and world) groups are working to promote viable alternatives to the routine killing of shelter dogs and cats.  This is a proven method that works (spay, neuter, educate, community involvement, rescue/foster groups, etc). We are changing how animals are treated and we need everyone to be involved to make the unnecessary killing of shelter pets a thing of the past.

Thank you! Now for the their announcement:

Exciting News!
 
MLCNK is on the agenda for the Lincoln County Commissioners meeting this Monday, November 18.  We are asking you to attend (wearing orange) in support of our No Kill mission and goals.
 
The meeting begins at 6:30pm.  We will meet in the parking lot of the James W. Warren Citizens Center at 6:10. The address is 115 W. Main Street, Lincolnton on the 3rd Floor. 
 
Please invite others you know to join us.  A brief presentation will be delivered to the Board after which we hope to seek a formal vote of approval and support from theCounty Commissioners. 
 
This is a significant milestone and potentially the start of a new direction for ourcounty and the animals in their care. We urge you to attend and show your support for our mission of saving animals lives.  

-- 
Thank you for your ongoing support!
 
Jena
 
Jena M. Healy
Make Lincoln County No kill
www.makelincolncountynokill.org
 
When the battle seems to be all uphill, remember we are here for the voiceless animals who depend on us to keep on keeping on for them.
 
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 1:21 PM No comments:
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Lord, mom is screaming my name. Hold real still and maybe she won't see me.

I am sure it wasn't me that did it. - Buddy McCluskey



Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Sunday, November 17, 2013

Really? Juno fell asleep on me again?

I would be okay with that except for his wiener in my back. And it ain't the first time. - Bean
Happily adopted boxer brothers. Juno is deaf so he cannot hear any complaints on his sleep positions.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Saturday, November 16, 2013

I really don't mind her leaning on me, but that ugly picture she drew of me on the bed has GOT TO GO!

It doesn't look a thing like me.  It looks like a fat raccoon with rabies (no need to convince me the little human has eyesight issues - my god) - Max

Max is a work dog. He is a seeing eye dog as well as he helps sense seizures before they happen. Good work Max, the new big brother in our family!
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Friday, November 15, 2013

New Deadly Dog Virus

Watch your dog for signs....

http://www.wbtv.com/story/23950879/special-report-deadly-dog-virus
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 11:17 AM No comments:
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Gawd, I feel a bit queasy. If she could only keep her strokes even like I have instructed.

I am not sure why I even sign up for these rides... - Shanti Baby 
(I guess bc she likes it so much and hates to go alone. It is my little way of giving back to my human)
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM 2 comments:
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Thursday, November 14, 2013

Sad Dog Diaries

Love this. Such a twisted way to think and maybe more true than we dog "owners" know....

Appropriate video for this page http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Xw1C5T-fH2Y
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 12:01 PM No comments:
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Who is THAT Sam? Is she a Golden?

Look at the set of legs on that one, would ya! - Buddy Love
Must be a stray. I haven't seen her around here before.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM 1 comment:
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Wednesday, November 13, 2013

Trifexis is killing some pets (combined all-in-one pill for heartworm and fleas). WARNING. http://www.wsbtv.com/videos/news/grieving-animal-lovers-blame-pet-drug-for-killing/vCH3g3/


Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:37 PM No comments:
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Baileys Treats (for dogs)

Have been contaminated with Salmonella, if sold in NC and SC.  FDA is investigating.  Please take note if you feed your dogs these treats.

(My dogs were fed salmonella contaminated dog food while I was on vacation and all got very sick but survived).  We have to check the social media warnings until the food is tested better.

Signs of salmonella poisoning in dogs:
The severity of the disease will often determine the signs and symptoms that are overtly present in the dog. Symptoms commonly seen in dogs with salmonellosis include:

  • Fever
  • Shock
  • Lethargy
  • Diarrhea
  • Vomiting
  • Anorexia
  • Weight loss
  • Dehydration
  • Skin disease
  • Mucus in stool
  • Abnormally fast heart rate
  • Swollen lymph nodes
  • Abnormal vaginal discharge
  • Miscarriage or spontaneous abortion
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 5:56 PM No comments:
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Hey Riley. Check out my wiener while my man panties are off.


 Do I have diaper rash?  - Buddy Love
Give it to me straight. I can handle it.

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM 1 comment:
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Tuesday, November 12, 2013

Are you about done in the bathroom? Riley wants to play tug-o-war with mommy.

OMG. You are peeing in our water bowl...  -Buddy
Privacy, personal space?  Not sure what that all means. We're Bostons.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Monday, November 11, 2013

Dog Treats made in China

3000 dogs in the US have now reportedly DIED eating treats made in China.  More have gotten sick.
We do not know the reason or cause so now the FDA is investigating.

It is mostly in smaller dogs who consume a lot of these treats but still know the signs as dogs can get sick and die in a matter of a couple of days.  They become sick, do not eat, lethargic and then organs start to fail. Many vets do not know the signs or have not seen any cases so we have to educate and inform each other.

So please do not buy treats that say "Made in China" on the bag and watch over everyone's pets.

Thank you.


Posted by Dog Rescuer at 8:22 PM No comments:
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Here in my secret garden, where no one can find me.

My own little private Idaho. - Maisy, completely unaware I was snapping shots
The sun is going down. I better get back to the house soon before mom starts to worry.
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Sunday, November 10, 2013

Mine! Mine! Lickey Lickey Lickey!

You can lick the other side if you want some Sam.  - Buddy Love

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Saturday, November 9, 2013

I hear something Riley. I am sure of it. Get up and go take a look.


For the 100th time, no you don't. Now go to sleep little man. - Riley

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Friday, November 8, 2013

The Fantastic Five Cheerleading Team....

My name is Buddy. (Oh yeah). I love to pee. (Oh yeah). I have a diaper. (Oh yeah). In which I wee! Oh Yeah!
Sha boom, sha sha sha boom, check it out. Sha boom, sha sha sha boom. Roll call.

My name is Riley. (Oh yeah).  And I'm a mess. (Oh yeah).  I love to boat. (Oh yeah). On the big fat Crest. Oh Yeah!
(CHORUS)
My name is Sam. (Oh, yeah). And I'm da man. (Oh yeah).  A love machine. (Oh yeah). A big fat ham! Oh Yeah!
(CHORUS)
My name is Noneya. (Oh yeah). I hate this game. (Oh yeah). This stupid cheer. (Oh Yeah). I wish you pain! Oh Yeah!
(CHORUS)
My name is Maisy. (Oh, yeah). I think that's it. (Oh, yeah).  I forget a lot. (Oh yeah). Is it time to shit? Oh Yeah!
(CHORUS)
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Thursday, November 7, 2013

Go toward the light. Go toward the light.

That is what I keep doing but nothing happens. - Maisy Moo, beautiful, senile and just a tad bit sexy

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Wednesday, November 6, 2013

Texts from Dogs

Ok. These 10 are hilarious. Totally my style of dog humor and hope you enjoy them FFS!

http://littlewhitelion.com/texts-from-my-dog-10-pics-40511/
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 9:50 PM No comments:
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What's the secret password Sam?

NOPE. That is not it and you are not going up to see the master. - Stella, holding her own.
I can't believe something that looks like a wet muskrat is keeping me from climbing the stairs. But I am afraid of it.- Sam
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Tuesday, November 5, 2013

Well, I just woke up on the wrong side of the bed.

And someone is gonna have to pay for that. -Riley

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Monday, November 4, 2013

Bloat #2 killer for dogs

#1 is Cancer. Know the signs for Bloat.  http://www.globalspan.net/bloat.htm
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 4:00 PM No comments:
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Would someone please tell all these little kids to get their nasty hands OFF me?

I know I am beautiful to behold, but I really need to be admired from a distance.  - Shanti Baby
I don't just go up to your boat and start touching the beautiful things.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Sunday, November 3, 2013

The Revenant - Billy Collins

A friend shared this poem with me and I hope you find it as interesting as I did....

(A revenant is a visible ghost or animated corpse that was believed to return from the grave to terrorize the living).


The Revenant - Billy Collins

I am the dog you put to sleep,
as you like to call the needle of oblivion,
come back to tell you this simple thing:
I never liked you--not one bit.
When I licked your face,
I thought of biting off your nose.
When I watched you toweling yourself dry,
I wanted to leap and unman you with a snap.
I resented the way you moved,
your lack of animal grace,
the way you would sit in a chair to eat,
a napkin on your lap, knife in your hand.
I would have run away,
but I was too weak, a trick you taught me
while I was learning to sit and heel,
and--greatest of insults--shake hands without a hand.
I admit the sight of the leash
would excite me
but only because it meant I was about
to smell things you had never touched.
You do not want to believe this,
but I have no reason to lie.
I hated the car, the rubber toys,
disliked your friends and, worse, your relatives.
The jingling of my tags drove me mad.
You always scratched me in the wrong place.
All I ever wanted from you
was food and fresh water in my metal bowls.
While you slept, I watched you breathe
as the moon rose in the sky.
It took all of my strength
not to raise my head and howl.
Now I am free of the collar,
the yellow raincoat, monogrammed sweater,
the absurdity of your lawn,
and that is all you need to know about this place
except what you already supposed
and are glad it did not happen sooner--
that everyone here can read and write,
the dogs in poetry, the cats and the others in prose.

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 6:58 PM No comments:
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Hut, hut, HIKE. OK. Now COME AT ME!

Buddy Love- always ready to charge

Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Labels: dog, dog blog, dog foster, dog humor, dog shame, dog tags, dog tweet, dog twitter, dogs, dogs talking, funniest, funny, pet, pets, talk, Talking

Saturday, November 2, 2013

REALLY?!

You still think I am beautiful? - Maisy Moo shaking her rump
 I feel so alive today and that lotion IS doing wonders for my face.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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Friday, November 1, 2013

No messing up the couch covers. No playing tug-o-war in the house.

No scratching the hardwood floors.  No farting indoors.  What do you reckon "no" means exactly Riley? - Buddy Love
Mom is yelling at us again and I am not sure I understand.  We did everything she asked.
Posted by Dog Rescuer at 7:00 AM No comments:
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About Me

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Dog Rescuer
Denver, NC, United States
My name is Karla and I rescue dogs (along with raising 4 of my own). Every day is a humorous adventure, with their antics and the "voices" I give them inside my head. Join me in reading about my observations and conversations with my rescued dogs. Hopefully you will find my twisted dog humor something to follow and share. Twitter: @ifdogstalked Facebook: ifdogstalked
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Family Photo

Family Photo
Glendal, Buddy, Samson, and Shanti

Shanti (peace)

Shanti (peace)
I am supermodel. Hear me roar.

Buddy Love, before the wheelchair

Buddy Love, before the wheelchair
Handsome Little Bugger

Sammy

Sammy
Handsome love machine
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