I bet you did not even notice my new collar....

Will that be cash, check or credit card please?

  Hi. My name is Lucy and I help daddy sell boats.  How many boats will you be buying from us today?

(Lucy is actually the sweetest pit bull with one brown eye and one blue.  She gave me kisses for stopping by).  Check her video out here and on my YouTube Channel.  She talks with a roaring chuckle!

http://youtu.be/pAps2AIQtec

It's camouflage baby-

If I was a snake, I would have bit you. You didn't even know I was on your bed. I am a chameleon like that.

-Tootsie

Rest easy...

A pillow for the ride, made out of dog, is my favorite kind. - Sam

Fill 'er up please.

 And check under the hood. Oh, don't worry. I am not driving. Sammy boy does all the driving.  Right now he is hung over and resting his head on Shanti before we take off for the open road so all is good  -Tootsie

Ok, NOW Maisy!

Sprint as fast as you can and jump clear over my outstretched leg. I know you can do it old girl! What are you waiting for?  Who is a good girl?!  -Della

It is MY Freakin Black Friday...

Out of my way, you bastards.  Black Friday means ME, just look at our reflections stupid.
I go first and I go alone to shop!- Shanti

I am all set to hit the lines to shop before daylight. Mom needs to wake her butt up and let me out now before all the good treat and toy deals are taken!- Shanti

Naked Thanksgiving

I started my day by slipping out to the hot tub on my deck to watch the sun come up.  I am dog sitting for the holiday and of course, Tootsie wanted to come along.  She is a little dog (poodle/bichon frise mix) with a low tolerance for cold weather.

Since it was so early, I slipped out naked with a blue towel wrapped around me.  I have neighbors all around but late at night (or very early), I do not bother with a swim suit.  So Tootsie and I go out to the hot tub with only a towel wrap around me and I quickly slipped in before anyone could spot me.  Tootsie began to shiver soon, even sitting on my towel so I decided to wrap it around her and tuck it in. I never thought beyond that moment of helping her stay warm....when she got up and walked off with my towel draped around her!  There she goes, down the deck looking back at me sweetly and soon the towel slips off her.

Now I have two choices- walk of shame, slow, tip toe, secretly hoping no one is looking or run like hell, figuring no one can make out any details of me streaking (like they don't know it is me at my own home) until I can pick up the towel and make my way back into the house. I opted for #2 and rushed for the towel. Tootsie could not understand all the fuss.

I am now very awake and alive for my Thanksgiving Day.  This naked turkey made a memorable impression on her neighbors, with a little help from my friend:

It's just too painful...

I cannot look at you when I am locked up in this place.  It's just too painful to see the disappointment on your face.- Maisy

New roommates, let the battle begin!

OMG. I HOPE we get to race, I hope we get to race! - Lola the "Iggy".

I am not overweight. I just have a lot of fur and my legs are too short for my body.  I was bred for my looks which is obviously not the case with you as I cannot even LOOK at you... - Foxy the Pom.

Whiskers and chin hair....

Why are whiskers and chin hair SO much cuter on me mom? -Sam

Faster, I see land!

Can you pick up the speed any, in this heap of cheap plastic? I see land HO.  Faster, matey, faster I say. And stop staring at my beautiful ass.- Shanti

Wanna Kiss?

Come closer so I can kiss you.....

Man poop-

Ok. Has anyone else noticed that no matter what- men seem to be able to go #2 anytime and anywhere?  Public restroom, work, vacation, gas station, etc.  I have noticed this in my male dogs. The females rarely if ever go but the boys, poop a pile.  Like they hold it all day just to poop in someone else's yard or in the road more traveled.

My Sam- he is a TWO pooper. 10 minute walk and 2 big piles. I guess he waits all day to unleash.  Just saying what others are thinking.

POOP ONE:

POOP TWO:

And the earth stood still...

Shhhh. Mom has treats. (Ah, behold the power of food). Gimme gimme or I will bite you.

Just wrong...

Maybe it is just me but I don't think my dog should be making that gesture at me (or anyone).  Or maybe I am wrong to notice but c'mon.

I am injured I say. Injured!

Shanti likes attention, TLC when she is hurt or injured. Lately it seems to be often. She goes around limping but you never see how she hurts herself. And in minutes, she is "all better".  Here she is, in action, playing it up for all its worth. How she hurt herself sitting on the deck, I will never know.

Later we were watching a dog program and the trainer said that "a dog's paw is the most sensitive area" of the dog. Shanti looked up at me and said "I TOLD you so mom"!

Oh, I will go a round with you big boy....

In dogs' eyes, size doesn't matter.

Let me tell you something son-

I am mama dog, and don't make me take you out back for a spanking. Mind your manners. I brought you into this world, and I can take you out. You ain't that big and bad.  You GOT me? Now act like you know.

Boogie Monster

The boogie monster lives under my guest bed.  It is solid black, with glow-in- the-dark eyes, and shiny white teeth. It bangs on the hardwood floor as you hear it pull its boney body under the bed. There it sleeps, listening for you above.  This monster wails in its sleep.  It bangs its head against the floor with bad dreams. It kicks, flails around, screams and makes awful sounds.  Guests have tried to describe the noises and cannot. They beg me not to let the boogie monster in at night, so they can sleep. These attacks happen periodically all through the night with no rest for the weary. No matter how much you yell or scream, the noises don't stop.

Shanti can pull her skeleton like body under that bed and has horrible nightmares.  People dread her banging under their bed all night long.  She does not care. See below, as boogie monster dog (40 lbs) emerges from dark to pull out from under 7" tall bed frame...

Here is a glimpse of the monster, hiding under the bed. If you cannot see you, she thinks you cannot see her.

Horse and buggy run-

Off to go running (or struggling to steer).  We STOP traffic. Especially my beautiful baby in the carriage. People slow down to take a look and out pops Maisy, an Ewok look-a-like. I cannot help it if my baby can eat your baby.

Hey mom. What the hell is everyone looking at?

Can we go now? I am waiting!

Shanti on the boat, ready to leave, impatiently waiting for the rest of us to finish having fun on the island. She is the Alpha Dog, can you tell?  

"Golf Cart Maisy"

Recently I was ran over by my own golf cart, at the "hands" of my dog Maisy. I had parked the golf cart at the top of my steep driveway coming back home from a ride with my 3 dogs. I got out and walked in front of it to shut a building door.  Maisy went to follow me so I clapped my hands to alert her to stay in the cart. Well, that startled my little angel and the next thing I know, she jumped back and bumped the floor brake off.

Being on a hill, as the golf cart rolled forward, Maisy fell onto the floor and rolled onto the gas pedal.  She was like a fat tick stuck on its back and with more speed, she could not get up.  I had about 10-15 feet to react. I jumped to the side, took a slight graze from the front end, grabbed the windshield bar as it went by and dove in.  As we bounced around, I reached for steering wheel (on my knees, belly) and Maisy was bumped right out.  I turned the wheel to miss my house and car, running over decorative river rocks, through rose bushes and a small tree in the woods by my driveway.  I took out a small limb, while leaves/debris covered the cart as it popped out, back onto the driveway still rolling right along. I was able to reach over and press brake with my hand and the cart stopped inches before crashing through my back gate and/or house. Maisy popped up, fine but startled. The other 2 dogs never fell off. I had bruises and strained my thumb ligaments on the stunt move to gain control from Maisy over my own cart.  Just then the neighbors came home, thankfully to miss the ordeal for their viewing pleasure.

Now I never park on a hill, with Maisy at the wheel.  It could have been a lot worse.  Glad I had thumbs!

Do you want me to drive again mom?  I got it this time. - Maisy

Sam has a man crush...

Beau, the big shepard boy that Sam loves, admires and follows everywhere.

Sam keeping an eye on his man prey.

Sammy swimming with his athletic BFF.

Sammy sad. We had to leave and here he keeps watch for his man dog.

Stop yelling mom. I found the remote.- Shanti

1. It now smells funny.
2. Shanti finds the butt area positioning uncomfortable.

Top ten excuses on dates using your dogs!

1.    Sorry, I like you but my dog does not.
2.    I have to go home early to feed my dogs and let them out.
3.    I can't go out. I just got a new puppy.
4.    That was my neighbors that called.  My dogs got out and I have to go now.
5.    You cannot come in. My dog bites.
6.    I can't. My dog has to go in for surgery early tomorrow morning.
7.    I am only attracted to dog people.
8.    You make my dog jealous.
9.    My dog is sick and I must stay home with her.
10.  I don't feel well. I accidently took my dog's medicine.

I am sexy and I know it.....

Come hither, ladies.....
-Sam

Go ahead mom...

Play and have fun. Just leave me here in the hot sun to roast. - Shanti

Because I can....

-Sam

Whoa! That medicine really f -&%# me up...

Got any more of those pain pills?

- Maisy (after doggie surgery, still hopped up on pain pills, barely able to stand up,eating dinner in bed).

When are you getting out of that hot tub....

I need attention!  NOW would be good.- Shanti

Where's yours mom?

Went shopping with the kids and here is what we brought home for Halloween. All dog treats and food. Next time I am buying something for me dammit!