Someone farted.

And it's coming from the backseat. - Man Man (rescue)

Fess up.

Ok. Here's the plan Buddy.

 I'm listening Riley. Go ahead.- Buddy 

Mom is lost somewhere out in that field.  Let's make our break for it.

Oh, man! It is suppertime and I am at the wrong table.

I hope they wait for me. - Riley

Hmmm. Let me think real hard -

Now WHO am I and WHERE am I? - Maisy

It doesn't matter. That sun sure fills good here on the porch.

Oh, Pshaw!

I am really not that gorgeous sitting in this ole white leather chair-  Kally

But you can tell me again if you want to...

What? We shouldn't be out here without our life jackets?

(as Buddy Love pushes Riley a little closer to the edge)

Don't worry, only one of us is going for dip in the "big pool" today... *Wink Wink*

Blogger in Dog Friendly City of Asheville, NC.

(I need two of these for the entrance of my driveway!)

Who is she calling "bookends" and what does that mean?

Riley, you need to look this way when I am talking to you. - Buddy Love.

And we are nothing alike.

I HOPE you are not planning on taking ME to Soapy Dog.

I licked myself clean just this morning. - Kally

Love Asheville, NC.  Very outdoorsy and dog friendly place to be!

You need to stop loving on me and get a grip on that steering wheel.

Plus people are staring at us.  - Kally

I love you my little white brother from another mother.

Sorry about your black eye today. - Juno and Bean

Cool Art in Asheville

 Painted Railroad Cars- by Mel T.

I never really knew my real mother.

So I hope you will be my mom Maisy and consider me your son.- Buddy Love

Heaven's no boy. Now hush so I can sleep, and stop farting.

I am a little miffed that Sam has a better treat than me.

I wonder what Sam kind of bone he has?  It sounds delicious.- Maisy

I guess Mom loves him better.

Where is your bathing suit this morning?

You disgust me. The neighbors can see us.

I can't look at that pink hairless skin without feeling sick.- Shanti Baby

Where am I? I feel like I am at the petting zoo.

Come closer my pretty and let me pet you through this fence. -Maisy Moo 

I am sorry I don't have any cookies for you in my pocket.

Ahhhh. That is a good stretch. Come over here and rub my belly Buddy.

Not until you put some pants on big boy- Buddy Love

Sniff. Sniff. Is this plant POT? That's only legal in Denver, CO, not Denver, NC.

I have been waiting a long time to see you behind bars and now is my chance.- Shanti

Nose don't fail me now. I can finally be free of the mayhem in this house.

If I would have known you were too poor for modern heat, I would not have let you foster me.

Seriously. -Riley loving the heat

I am not having my picture made with the others any more. - Maisy

I just feel fat and old next to them.- Maisy

Why is the round, grey one leaving the room mom?- Sam, Buddy, Shanti, and Riley

I love the morning sunlight, but I do wonder....

Will it give me wrinkles and age spots on my face like you?- Sweet Riley

Or will I just get more sexy and tan because I am a dog?

Reminder- daily blog funny can be sent to your smartphone automatically.

Just type your email address in the box about 1/3 down on the right side of the column in the Follow By Email Box.  That's it!

(I do not use your address in any way- you just get a funny email each day).

ENJOY!
Karla

Hey mom. Got anything to perk us up a little?

We are both sad.- Sam and Maisy

Could be the rain, or could be because you don't love us enough.

Make your own dog food. Please.

There are tons of recipes and online sites to offer you assistance. I was reading BARK magazine and forgot I was reading a dog magazine. I saw a great recipe for healthy cookies so I took mental notes so I could make them for ME!  All of it sounded like a great mix but I have yet to make it. Not much into cooking but I get why people are, and do cook. Those people don't have 5 dogs. And NONE of mine have yet to help me cook. Or even bring in the groceries. I do have 3 that try to run away when I open the door to carry the bags inside. Bad children. Bad!

Some common dog food ingredients that are good, healthy, and safe for your pups are cottage cheese, scrambled eggs, cooked ground meats, peanut butter, vegetables (like carrots), rice, coconut milk, spinach, broths with no seasonings needed.  Pick organic and non-gmo products.  Send a message we all want the GOOD stuff to the growers, producers, and shopping marts. Don't give your dogs processed people food. Hell, look what it does to PEOPLE.  Check out Dog living magazine for more recipes also.  Coconutty turkey soup sounds devine. Use your leftovers.

You can make fresh dog food and seal a few servings up for the fridge.  You can bake dog treats and you can make dog pop sickles.  My favorite treat I saw in Australia- forgot what they call it- friends put a little cooked organic meet inside a smaller plastic container with water and freeze it like one big ice cube.  On hot days they bring it out and the dogs lick that ice pack for 30 minutes- 1 hour to get to the center of that frozen tootsie pop. They made it look so good on a summer day, I almost gave it a try. It keeps them occupied for a long time.

I hope you will consider making your own healthy alternative when you cook your next meal.  And just remember to eat as healthy as they do. You will poop just as often (which is a good thing) if you do!

Karla

Hey Maisy. Stop hogging all the sunlight!

If that is supposed to be a fat joke, you two Bostons can just kiss my ass.- Maisy moo

I was here first.

In speaking for me and Sam, we would like to have more privacy and not have a bed out where everyone can see us.

Your bedroom would be just fine.

You really should mind your own business.

I didn't come to Riley's hiding spot to steal her bone.  I was merely looking for dust bunnies. - Shanti Baby, up to no good.

Don't start nothin, won't be nothin biotches.

Take that ski mask off please.

I want to feel your warm, hairless face pressed against mine. - Riley

Lickey lickey that face.

Hmmm. I don't remember gloves being on the DO NOT CHEW list.

But if you say so....- Buddy Love

I'll start tomorrow.

Buddy using his new toy as floss. All while wearing a diaper.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GILWEIWv5pY&feature=c4-overview&list=UUE-3Qwy-lkkepQo4yGEoJpA

THE PLAYERS

For those of you who do not know my five dogs (all rescues), here is the rundown:

Sam I am.  5 year old boxer. Sad face. Good guy. Wants to please. Can play rough. Extremely handsome with bedroom eyes. He is a people pleaser.

Maisy Grey, or Maisy Moo.  16.5 Cancer survivor.  Still walks/rides daily. LOVES to eat. Big girl is food motivated.

 Buddy Love. My special needs child. Loves to tear things up, wears a diaper because he pees on everything, but so lovable and just damn cute!

Riley. Ri- Ri. She is a tomboy. She is a foster, 1/2 Boxer, 1/2 Boston.  40 lbs.  1 year old.  Ripped to shreds athletic.  Ready for her forever home.  Seems to love it here just fine. (Now off my bed).

 Shanti Baby. Black Diva. Thinks she is a cat. Does not seem to like dogs or some people, or much of anything.  She marches to her own drummer and is NOT food motivated. Matter of fact, she hates to eat and is vegan most days.  She does love to ride kayaks, paddle boards, jetskis, trucks, golf carts, etc.

I saw the cutest thing...

So yesterday me and the babies are patrolling the property.  We live sorta out in the country by a lake. So Riley hears something in a leaf pile and dives into it. She is a burly girl, tough 40 pounds of lean muscle.  She is poking around and trying to get whatever it is. Then suddenly she jumps back as if it is something bad (I have seen snakes, snapping turtles, muskrats, possums, etc. on property).  Well...

Buddy (20 lbs), in his little green sweater with a hoodie, sees this, waltzes right over to the big pile of leaves and takes a big whiz on top then stomps right back down the pile and kicks up some dirt. Problem solved. He is a hot mess. He makes me laugh every day.

Buddy Love - Warming up and resting after property patrol.

A Late Christmas Miracle

I have been working up to leaving the dogs in my house alone, without being kenneled.  Basically I was worried about all of Buddy's peeing and Riley tearing up my couch. Typically Buddy will whiz up to 15 times an hour, keep drinking water, keep whizzing on every corner, every object if unattended. And Riley got worked up (when playing) and took a chunk out of my new leather ottoman.  And so on, because with 5 dogs it's anybody's guess who is "large and in charge" when I leave.

Well I have 95% solved Buddy's peeing issue and Riley is a calmer, tamer wild animal. So I left, came home and not one thing wrong. Nothing chewed. Nothing out of place. And no pee. Left them sleeping in front of the wood stove. They have their doggie door to get out. When I left I said nothing and kept an image of calm trust in my head.  Can't hurt right?!

Feels good to be able to let them roam the house and yard while I am out.

Karla

Boxer circle of love. Love for the wood stove. Sleeping angels...

Yep, we rolling back into town biotches!

What are all these people staring at?- Buddy, Shanti, and Riley up front

(Shame Maisy and Samson have to sit in the back. Shame for them.)

I iz sad because you no feed me enuf.

My head is now too big for my body. - Sam I am looking for treats

Feed me, don't let me look deformed.

The Meaning of Dog Rescue

(Author unknown to me)

Now that I'm home, bathed, settled and fed,
All nicely tucked up in my warm new bed.
I'd like to open my baggage, lest I forget,
There is so much to carry - so much to regret.

Hmm . . . Yes there it is, right on the top.
Let's unpack Loneliness, Heartache and Loss;
And there by my leash hides Fear and Shame.
As I look on these things I tried so hard to leave -
I still have to unpack my baggage called Pain.

I loved them, the others, the ones who left me,
But I wasn't good enough - for they didn't want me.
Will you add to my baggage, will you help me unpack?
Or will you just look at my things -
And take me right back?

Do you have the time to help me unpack?
To put away my baggage, to never repack?
I pray that you do - I'm so tired you see,
But I do come with baggage -
Will you still want me?

Oh, Goodie! You're home and you brought my cousins from the dirty South.

Let em out, let em out!  - Della, past foster

(I SEE stinky, meany, bully, fatty, and burly man)

I rested up all day for this visit while mom cleaned the house so it won't have any dog hair.

My New Year's Resolution? Not to soil your sheets.

 I mean, after this one. - Buddy Love