Just because we look guilty....

We are innocent until you can prove otherwise. We don't even remember what it is we did that was bad.

You are not wearing THAT to bed are you?

Now come here and lay beside me, hot thing.

My Revised Christmas List- Sam

Dear Mom:

Perhaps you missed my Christmas list. I want a black motorcycle. You can pay everything, drive, and keep it clean. I just want to look good with my "bitch" driving me around.

I already climbed in and it is a great fit. I just want my handsome face flapping in the breeze of the open road.

Picture me on the bike versus my head just poking out of some window....

This is me all jammed up in the front seat of the truck. AWFUL.

This is me all boxed up in the back of the truck.  I can barely see out and no fresh air. Call the authorities.

Welcome Home Mom....

I am just getting back from a month long holiday trip/vacation.  I wake up to the picture below, winter here, frost, steam coming off the lake so I decide to sit in the hot tub outside - to meditate and absorb all the beauty of this day.  My 3 little babies still lay inside sleeping.  I woke up with Maisy on her bed, right beside me...snoring as usual.

I think about the stories over the past month.  My house sitter/dog sitter got a call at 1:30am from the neighbors while I was gone. Seems Maisy got out in the middle of the night and went for a neighborhood romp (probably got the other dogs barking).  I laughed, because as many of you know, Maisy is a Houdini Escape Artist and likes to test everyone.  I recall another time when another girlfriend was watching my dogs and Maisy got out while she napped. She found her but the more she chased her, the more Maisy ran. It is a game to her.  My friend (26) was mad but laughing, as she could not catch the old girl in the 'hood.

Let me remind you that Maisy is 14 years, 6 months old. Overweight with arthritis. Completely blind in one eye. Just had 3 cancerous tumors removed last month, and has a throat infection (on meds for that now).  We lock the gates, bungee cord them, drag furniture to cover it even more.  She can also get out of her kennel and open doors.  She can do everything but NOT poop on my driveway.

So, back to my story, I am in awe of nature and my surroundings, relaxing and happen to glance over for the first time at my gate from the hot tub.  It was WIDE open and my heart went racing. As some of you know, Maisy likes to take Sam on her new adventures and he is her apprentice in escaping now.  I jump up, cold and wet now and run to the gate, worried my babies are out and can get hit/hurt.

Maisy "The Mangler" has destroyed my gate and fencing, and left it wide open to leave me a message. AFTER she un-bungeed the cord and moved the metal bench aside.

I run around screaming her name, with just my towel on. I figured she got out while I was relaxing but alas, she was still inside with Sam. I quickly shut the remains of my gate and scolded her as she smiled up at me and wiggled her whole butt. I guess she got out on ME in the middle of the night, got bored after running around town, came home and got into her bed.  So today when it warms up, I get to fix the gate once again.  I hope if anyone saw her and Sam, they just thought they were short, fat reindeer lost after Christmas.  Not my babies, my babies would never do that to ME, only the dog sitters.

Sam- did you do it? "Not me momma."  And looks away.

Maisy- did you do it? "I was here all night with you momma. Now give the sweet girl a treat please. I need something to take this nasty taste of metal out of my mouth!"

Dang. It is like she can read my mind....

Mom is using the night vision goggles again to catch me in the kitchen eating holiday leftovers. A boy gets hungry you know. -Sam

Guard dogs welcome company after the holidays....

Please, won't you come into our home? My name is Dante. Say it nicely, with a treat in hand. And I like my belly rubbed. Got that?

Ah, I see you have met my other half.  Please come in and make yourself at home. We are friendly.  With each other.... Beau

Puppies rock!

Opps. You are up early!

Is it Christmas yet?!  This looks bad but I did not open my bags of toys and start playing with them early. I was merely sniffing for drugs.  - Della the Dingo Dog.

Toys! I need more toys! Is this all there is?!  (I know, dogs in China only have one small used toy to share, blah blah).

We all have good and evil in us....

(See if you can tell which is which Santa). Nice Tootsie...

Naughty Naked Tootsie...

Is the truck gassed up and ready to go?

Because I am. Now put my ramp out.- Maisy, Moo Pig.

Does my butt look big?

Since I have been here visiting, I feel bloated and fat.  Does my ass look big to you? I kinda like more junk in my trunk.- Tootsie

Lifting with the Pom Pom twins....

Sampson, I am glad you are up here working out with us, as you have gained weight. It makes me not want to have sex with you. - Your dog wife Sydney.

Careful with that paddle woman!

I KNOW what you are thinking and we both know it would not turn out well. Just steer this big rig, paddle hard and keep working around me. I deserve the view.- Shanti

Shhhh, pretend we are sleeping.....

Once the humans have gone nightie night lets tear this place apart, what say you?- Lexi with Abbey and Annabelle (all rescues).

Alert and focused

Shanti is learning to drive and it scares the dog shit out of me.- Sam

That's it.

Keep it steady driver.  I have now spotted deer in the woods.  I plan to attack and kill. Before I do, can you pull my little hoodie up? -Tootsie

Pouter

Everyone else is outside playing and having fun. I must have gotten locked in because I am a bad boy.- Sam

http://tinyurl.com/bv8224m

I have never been more proud

To be at a gas station. -Sam I am.

Website Shopping- update

URL to Website Shopping per requests....Come, have a look.
http://tinyurl.com/bv8224m

Hurry up before I run you over (again)- Maisy

Now which is the gas pedal and which is the brake again? I forget.  Took forever to get this thing cleaned up after the last "incident" where I ran you over.  I LOVE to drive the golf car on my own. Ahhh, the freedom!

- Maisy

Typing this blog is EXHAUSTING....

I am gonna make sure I post more about me, and more of my pictures. (Because lord I am cute. Have you seen me?) - Tootsie

I can rest. I wrote some funny shit today.

Website up and running....

While still in tweaking mode (the dogs have not been a helluva lot of help getting this website done quite frankly)....our website is up and ready for business for anyone that wants a gift for the holiday season for a dog lover.  Please keep watching as we will add new items often as we build our store.  Thank you for shopping, and supporting the rescue efforts for our dogs.
http://tinyurl.com/bv8224m

I resent the resemblance....

I hardly look like her. I am a DOG, she is a cat. And I am not nearly as fat so shut your pie hole. -Maisy

And that is why they call me a wiener dog.....

While visiting my mom we had quite the array of dogs from 3 families.  The characters in this story are my male boxer Sam, Mom's white GSD Della, and my brother's dachshund Buster.  Well, my brother likes to call him "bust-a-nut" but that is another story.

Well, Buster is very young and playful. And he kept getting more and more friendly with Sam. All these dogs have been around each other before without sexual incidence but obviously romance was in the air.  Buster kept licking Sam's man part and was small enough to stand under him and "milk the cow".  We kept shoeing Buster off but frankly, they BOTH seemed to like it. Sam would straddle right up to him for a licking over and over.

Soon we noticed Sam had mounted poor Della (still a pup and first sexual encounter I imagine) and had his lipstick out and ready. All dogs are fixed but still, we had to separate Sam. I pondered WHY Sam was so taken this time with Della. At first I said aloud, I guess he has discovered he has a taste for blondes. That is when Mom remarked... it is not his fault. Buster got him all worked up!

Come closer....

I appear all sweet and thoughtful.  Waiting with anticipation for the rest of your words to me. In reality I smell something tasty on your breath. Come to me. You curl my whiskers.  - Tootsie Roll

Do you know what this is for?

Does anyone know why the hell mom teases us by getting tin foil out like she is going to grill us out some meat, then instead, lays it on the bed without any meat on it?  Mom is going crazy and the guests laugh when they first see the bed.  She tells them it is so we won't jump up there....whatever makes it "right" in her head.- Dogs

Hey kid!

I found your ball in my yard. Why don't you come try to take it away from me for fun?   - Della

What the hell are you staring at?

Rogan- rescued min pin mix. With attitude.

What does a girl have to do to get noticed?

Sam, I am ready for you. Why are you always so tired?  I am over here in my bed, ready to make puppies with you. - Shanti

Get the rest of the leaves in the truck woman!

And hurry up before my football game starts.- Sam

I bet you did not even notice my new collar....

Will that be cash, check or credit card please?

  Hi. My name is Lucy and I help daddy sell boats.  How many boats will you be buying from us today?

(Lucy is actually the sweetest pit bull with one brown eye and one blue.  She gave me kisses for stopping by).  Check her video out here and on my YouTube Channel.  She talks with a roaring chuckle!

http://youtu.be/pAps2AIQtec

It's camouflage baby-

If I was a snake, I would have bit you. You didn't even know I was on your bed. I am a chameleon like that.

-Tootsie

Rest easy...

A pillow for the ride, made out of dog, is my favorite kind. - Sam

Fill 'er up please.

 And check under the hood. Oh, don't worry. I am not driving. Sammy boy does all the driving.  Right now he is hung over and resting his head on Shanti before we take off for the open road so all is good  -Tootsie

Ok, NOW Maisy!

Sprint as fast as you can and jump clear over my outstretched leg. I know you can do it old girl! What are you waiting for?  Who is a good girl?!  -Della

It is MY Freakin Black Friday...

Out of my way, you bastards.  Black Friday means ME, just look at our reflections stupid.
I go first and I go alone to shop!- Shanti

I am all set to hit the lines to shop before daylight. Mom needs to wake her butt up and let me out now before all the good treat and toy deals are taken!- Shanti